Tuesday, August 31, 2010

News Flash, Peeps!

What was my discovery over the weekend?

It's something that I am trying to come to terms with.

I was shocked by it.

I was disgusted by it.

I was super frustrated by it.

Guess what?

Your face doesn't stay like this forever.

Surprise!!!


Nope, it sure doesn't.

Huh, uhhhhhh.

I'm not kidding at all.

I am breaking the news to you so you all don't have to find out like I did this last Sunday morning.

Okay so here's the scoop.

We all know the thirties have been such a roll of the dice for me.

I've comes to terms with them.

But.......

Here's the kicker.

Long story short.

I got up Sunday morning to go to Mass.

I had sheet marks all over the right side of my face.-hideous, no doubt.

I got in to the shower with these stupid sheet marks all over my right cheek and got out of the shower with them.

Still there-

The moisture and steam did absolutely nothing for them.

I decided I'd change up my routine and do my hair first and put on my make up second.

Because, I was being naive, I knew they would be gone by the time I got around to painting on my face.

I didn't want to deal with these stupid sheet marks, especially with foundation and compact powders that I now have to use to cover up my circles and other newbie discoloration situations chillin' out on my face for this past year.

So I wanted to give these sheet marks enough time to hit the road.

They had worn out their welcome.

They had made themselves way too comfortable.

I wasn't having them any longer.

I was so over them at this point.

Well, I put on my make up, crinkled up my face even more in disgust, because I now looked like a two year who had just awakened from a nap, but with a woman in her mid-thirties face.

Eeew-Ick

For sure-

The lighter marks had faded, but the two deep ones crossed my face. With one, of the two, stretching up by my right eye.

The foundation sat deep within them, the blush highlighted them, the eyeshadow enhanced it's depth, and at this point I decided I was woman enough to wear my sheet marks to church and that's just what I did.

No one told me this would occur so early on.

No one prepares you for the vanity that will consume so you unexpectedly.

No one tells you that as you watch the elasticity leave your face that some wisdom and life becomes visible where purity used to reside.

and dammit......

No one told me you could carry a sheet mark on your cheek for two hours and however many minutes.

At that point I had quit timing them.

Over two hours was entirely way too long for this chick to keep up with them.

I'd given up.

I'd given in.

I'd given all I could give.

I'd decided that I would make it my mission in life to tell all of you what happens, somewhere around your thirties, and give you the warning that I hadn't received.

Good luck to all of you.

Please, remember that if you have somewhere important to go in the morning, to be sure and sleep on your back all night long or set your alarm clock about two hours ahead of what you would normally set it.

It's all we can do, ladies.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

I'm just trying to do my part.

Trust me-I've worn the battle scars.

(To church, nonetheless.)

Toodle-loo
Nikki Pugh

8 comments:

Ramblin Mama said...

Nobody warns us as they are still somewhat shocked themselves!! Sorry to say, the next decade is even worse for new discoveries!

BundlesofBlossoms said...

Oh, my do tell......or do I even want to know?

Is it better to be kept in the dark?

Eeeeeek!

Angela said...

Yeah- nobody told me my hair would turn 75% white prematurely and I would have to dye it!

I get the wrinkles that will not go away too! I get them big time on my chest where my boobs have been pushed together the whole night!

My birthday is right around the corner and this is the first one that the numbers sound old to me!

BundlesofBlossoms said...

Angela-seriously, you are killing me. I love your comments!

The whole boobage-wrinkle-scrunched all night together thingy, I have going on, as well-bummer...I blame it on them being working boobs for so long-they must be worn out-HA!

All we can do is spread the word, remove the shock factor, or at least, soften the blow.

Happy "early" Birthday to you. (wink)

Bursts of Bubbles said...

This made me smile which I so needed... I responded to your comment on my blog but it comes down to what suits a child and not us.

BundlesofBlossoms said...

I am so glad to have made you smile! Those sheet marks certainly didn't make me to giddy:)

Margaret said...

Yes, Nikki, there is more to come and I'm sorry for not warning you about sheet marks. One of my most worrisome issues are my eyes. If I pull on my top eyelids, they stay stuck out. I had to stop wearing eye shadow because when I move the applicator across my eyelid, my eyelid goes with it. I was blond all my life and now I have to color it to be blond. No gray, just yukky brown looking something happening. Just consider it your wisdom marks. Hmm or "wise cracks", :)

BundlesofBlossoms said...

Wise cracks-too funny!

I have to admit I have noticed the applicator eye-shadow-y thing going on, too.

Not to happy about this crap.